Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
