Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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