Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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