Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
