So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
