its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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