I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this will be a night to untag.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
