dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
and eventually we just all took our pants off
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
