Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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