I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm both gender and math confused
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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