i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
