I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
