check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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