oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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