dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is the high leading the old right now
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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