As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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