saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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