I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
