you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
