haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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