that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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