You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
