Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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