I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
