hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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