we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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