I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
