Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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