How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
