Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
