so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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