So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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