Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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