She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
