As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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