We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
