I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
