She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Someone signed my nipple.
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