Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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