I'm gonna have a badass scar
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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