Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Shame - the story of my life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
