Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Success! We fucked roommates!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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