oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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