i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's just like the Real World with babies
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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