Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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