I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How external is "for external use only"?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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