I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
