If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
