I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Congratulations! We have a period
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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