Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
