Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
