whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
