he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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